The Secret to a Happy Marriage – A Must Read By Mr. Self Development

By Mr. Self Development

This maybe the most important article you ever read!  So give me a few moments to build my case.
You see, a lot of people got married because they thought they got a “great” deal, after a few years they realized they got a “raw” deal, and now they’re looking for a “new” deal.
After you finish reading this article, you’ll recognize that you don’t need a “new” deal.  You’ll know that you already have what’s necessary for an amazing marriage with your “current” spouse.  This article will give you the secret to bringing out the “best” in them, as well as the “best” in you, that’s why I wrote it.

The Secret to a Happy Marriage
You may be thinking, if I had married John, or Sally, or “so-and-so,” things would be great, because they’re just like me!  But that’s not the answer at all!  Probably the worse thing you can do is to marry somebody just like yourself, you’d probably drive each other crazy.
And another side-point, before we get into the lesson…
Some husbands think that it’s time to divorce they’re wife because their wife has put on an extra 30 pounds.  I want to discuss such topics in this article.
I also would like to know how that husband’s “six-pack” is coming along.  I hope he’s not walking around looking like he’s “seven-months pregnant,” while giving “weight-loss” advice to his wife.  As the quote goes, be the change you want to see.
Okay, enough side-points, lets get right to it.
The Problem in Marriage
Here’s the problem: When most people get married, they mistakenly think they’ve finished the race.  Little do they know, the “war” has just begun.
What use to excite them about their partner, now bothers them, what they didn’t see before, is now driving them insane!
One person wants to save, one person wants to spend.  One person wants to eat salad; one person wants to eat cookies.  One person wants it hot, one person wants it cold.  One person wants to go out; one person wants to stay in.
The differences!
But, these “differences” are for our growth, not for our detriment; contrary to popular opinion and public debate.  If nothing else, we should be growing increasingly patient because of these “differences,” but that’s just the beginning of this growth process.
The Recommendation
How do I recommend you deal with these differences? I think you have to first recognize the purpose of marriage, which is growth and development!  This is why opposites attract.  You were designed by your creator to attract a mate who is opposite of you to help ensure your own growth and development.
The “differences” that you and your spouse possess should serve to challenge you and make you better.  This is why marriage takes work.
When you got married, you really entered a “relationship” boot camp!  You thought you entered a relationship “paradise,” but you were misinformed, it was really a relationship boot camp that you signed-up for, and you did so even unaware.  But that’s okay, because life is about growth.
The Boot Camp
There’s good news:  If you learn the rules of the boot camp, the boot camp won’t break you, it will make you superior, it will make you stronger, it will cause you to grow-up into the person that you were created to be.  It will reveal the best in you; this boot camp will provide you the opportunity to have an “amazing marriage,” if you pass its test.
But people don’t like boot camp!  That’s why you hear a lot of married people say, “If I was single again…” they say, “Somehow, if I could be single (through some stroke of luck), I wouldn’t get married again; I’d just date.”  What I hear from this is, “I don’t want to go to boot camp,” I don’t want to face the “demons” in my closet!  I don’t want someone confronting my selfishness and putting “pressure” on me to grow-up.
That’s what marriage is in the beginning, and maybe forever if you never address the issues.  It’s “pressure,” and if you know anything about building a better body, you know that it takes pressure to cause your muscles to develop.  Pressure has the ability to make you stronger, …so quit running away from the pressure.
When problems arise, it’s not time to run out the room; it’s time to deal with the pressure.  I said, “It’s time to deal with the pressure,” if you want to be better, if you want your marriage to be its best, you have to deal with the pressure!  Are you going to pass the test?
You think you need a divorce, what you really need is a good argument.  You need to uncover (quit hiding) the expectations that you have of each other, and deal with them, name them one-by-one.  I’m convinced that the number one problem in marriage is unmet expectations.  So you need to uncover and meet the respective expectations that you both have….  If you do this, your marriage will grow stronger.
Those arguments, debates, heated conversations, what have you, will not cause you to grow apart, if you handle them appropriately and respectfully.  They will become instruments or tools that will bring you together, if you embrace them.
Don’t run from your opportunity to be better, don’t skip the training period!  You want to be married without training; you want to be married without a merging of your two-worlds.  Sometimes you have to rock the boat, if you want to experience “still” waters.  God-dog-it, rock the boat!
The secret to marriage is to “grow-up,” the purpose of marriage, as is the purpose of life, is to grow-up and become what you were designed to become.  Trying to become single after you’re married is just a way of saying “I don’t want to grow-up.”
Some of you are trying to get a new marriage, and you can’t handle the boot camp you’re in right now:  Your spouse has just “two” issues they need to resolve.  You all have worked for ten years to resolve so many issues.  You don’t need a new set of issues; deal with “two” issues you have left.  Don’t run from the test!
If you run that means you didn’t pass the test!  I said, “If you run, that means you didn’t pass the test!”  You’re going to have to repeat the grade.
The key is to pass the test, face the test for what it is, recognize that this is your training for life and the necessary requirement for a great marriage.  If you can unravel this riddle, then you can have a beautiful marriage, say “I want to pass the test!”  Don’t keep going around the mountain, make up your mind to climb the mountain once and for all.
The Side Note
Okay….I mentioned the weight issue in my opening paragraph, so let me address that here….If you’re so unhappy with your spouse being overweight, then go workout with them.  If you’re that concerned, help them.  Use that opportunity as your training ground to make your family better.
If you don’t like the way you’re being treated, don’t lash out at the other person, teach them, patiently train them; become better together, don’t run from your training!
The truth is, your spouse isn’t that bad, they married you didn’t they; they can’t be that bad.  You’re not a perfect “10” married to a “2,” if they’re a “2,” you’re probably a “2” as well, otherwise you wouldn’t have attracted them.  Some of you all think you’re a “10” married to a “2,” you crazy; you better be happy with what you got.
Instead of trying to get a new deal, your challenge is to grow together.  If you’re both “5s,” then your challenge in life is to become “10s” together.  You don’t “need” to be single, being single will only suffocate your personal growth.  When you’re single, you don’t have to mature in a lot of areas, you don’t have to be any better, no one is going to question you.  If you feel like eating a carton of ice-cream for dinner, you’re free to do so, but that won’t make you any better, …and you want to be better.
Don’t run away from your development, some people have been running for 30 years from their development, it’s time to develop, it’s time to grow.  Tell your spouse that we’re sticking this thing out together, tell them “I’m not going anywhere, and guess what, you’re not going anywhere either, we’re going to work this thing out.”  We’re going to grow, we’re going to develop, and we’re going to become all that we are destined to become.
The Conclusion
It’s time to become who you are, as it is written, the twain shall be one.  As “one,” you can do so much more; two people on the same page, moving in the right direction, can change the world.  They’ll be that power couple; they’ll be fulfilled, happy, and living on purpose, they’ll be a sign, pointing the way, to what marriage should be.
Thank you for reading, and please spread the good news tell your friend, relatives and colleagues about this life-transforming and inspiration blog